catch up, re group, pass away…

haven’t written in awhile, but soon, oh soon, i will be writing oh so very much more. why you may ask? well, because November is only 5 days away and that is when Nanowrimo begins! yes, i will be fooling myself and the world with speculation that i am writing another novel. what happened with the novel he wrote last November, you may ask. and that is a very good question.

i am just too busy/lazy/distracted to bother with finishing it. pity, because it is really pretty good. i came very close to creating a self published book out of it, and i still really should finish it but it is so hard for me to do all the things i want to do/should do/could do with the freeform way that my life/mind works. if i had a close associate that would monitor my activities/inactivity and manage me, i could be a lot more responsible about finishing all the things that i want to do/am doing.

does anyone else feel this way? if you are in a close partnership with someone (relationship or business partnership) does it help you act more responsibly? do the things you need to do? act more seriously about finishing what you start? taking on new challenges/projects? dreaming big? who i have to answer to is a cloud. i have spectators, but no one in my immediate proximity that monitors my activities or counts on me to complete my activities. if i do, or don’t, the cloud just hovers and sometimes pays attention and most time doesn’t pay attention. i am the brain/heart at the center of the cloud and anyone out there in the universe/internet/neighborhood are the water particles in my cloud. some of you rain on me. most of you just react innocuously.

i need to live in a thunderstorm though. or a hurricane. yeah. especially now while i am well and alive and feel like doing things, creating things, playing games because one day i will no longer be able to participate. it will be too late. the air will be sucked from me and there will no longer be a cloud surrounding me, but a field. of dirt. of memories. or wanting that cannot be fulfilled. while i become a haunter because i left this world unsatisfied? beware, because i just might!