THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

i can talk about this without much, or any emotion. i could have written about this over the weekend without any emotion, of my own, but i was afraid that people would write emotion into it because of when i said it. so this past weekend was a time that people in this country that i live in, call “thanksgiving”. it’s an excitable time of year. people get together. they celebrate. blah, blah, blah… i understand the importance of celebration and tradition. i studied anthropology, for goodness sake. it’s a world wide phenomenon, to get together and eat and “raise the roof”. most people would jump at an opportunity to be involved with such activities. many people crave being involved with such activities. it’s almost like an inborn instinct, to get together with people at “thanksgiving”. but i suspect that maybe it is NOT an instinct and that it is simply a trained behavior. this raises questions about desire, attachment, longing, separation for me. is it possible to live with detach...

this evening i had an encounter with a local, Country Connection bus driver. i was out for an excursion in my town, San Ramon, California to take some experimental photographs with a new camera lens that arrived in the mail today. it had just started to rain at 4pm and i knew i didn’t have much light left to work with. i drove off in my car hoping to catch some rays of sunshine brightening up autumnally colored trees against the black clouds of the sky. i ended up parking my car in the commuter spaces at the Transit Center in the Bishop Ranch office park. i got out of the car with my umbrella because it was still raining lightly and i did not want my camera to get wet. i did not really know how to take photographs with this new lens so this was definitely a learning experience for me. i made a point of not walking into the transit center, although i did take some photographs of it. i kept my attention on the changing lighting conditions fostered by the moving storm and the qu...

I had a dream this morning (thank you half dose Ambien!) that i was waiting for a model and her sister to get ready for a "Cemetery Girl" photo shoot. i was at there house in Berkeley. it was one of those big, classy mansions that you find in the neighborhoods on the north side of the UC campus. there was a feeling of age to the place, of many, many lives having been lived there. there was just something in the air of the place that made you feel like a lot of souls had passed through the rooms, doing the sundry activities of their lives. the house was warmly lit from the afternoon sun shining through the windows, filtered through the autumn colored, decaying leaves on the large trees in the outer yard. this worried me. it was getting late. a little bit too late. in the afternoon for our shoot. i do like to take photographs in the afternoon light, but since the recent ending of daylight savings time, afternoons get shorter and shorter every day. thoughts about this kept racin...

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haven’t written in awhile, but soon, oh soon, i will be writing oh so very much more. why you may ask? well, because November is only 5 days away and that is when Nanowrimo begins! yes, i will be fooling myself and the world with speculation that i am writing another novel. what happened with the novel he wrote last November, you may ask. and that is a very good question. i am just too busy/lazy/distracted to bother with finishing it. pity, because it is really pretty good. i came very close to creating a self published book out of it, and i still really should finish it but it is so hard for me to do all the things i want to do/should do/could do with the freeform way that my life/mind works. if i had a close associate that would monitor my activities/inactivity and manage me, i could be a lot more responsible about finishing all the things that i want to do/am doing. does anyone else feel this way? if you are in a close partnership with someone (relationship or business partnersh...

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