THIS Rhett Butler Will Never Die

not too much else happening these days. been in a lot of physical discomfort - muscular tension, legs are still cramping up often - trying to make myself go to the health club tonight to sit in the spa. i feel a disparate sense of disconnectedness from society and people right now. my mother and brother are leaving for 6 days. last time that happened my brother came back after one day and i was really upset at not getting to have my time to myself. i'm happy now that they are leaving again, but there is always a remote thought in the back of my head; what if they never come back... oh god, and i heard new information today during a conversation my mother had with her best friend over lunch that blew me away. forever i have been thinking that my father died when he was 36 years old. well today she says that he was 38 when he died. i had never heard that before. all these years i've been telling people otherwise. so all the emotion i had when i turned 37, thinking that ...

well, i've mentioned it to some of you in person and i think i mentioned it here or on the other blog that i was being interviewed for a paying position at the library. that was Wednesday last week. they left a message for me on Friday saying that they wanted to talk to me. not to boast, but i felt pretty sure that this was a slam dunk, that the job would be mine. i already do the needed tasks on a volunteer basis (just less hours than they want a hired person to do them). i am enrolled in classes at the JC to become a library technician and i have past experience working in libraries. i phoned back on Sunday, the day the supervisor that interviewed me said she would next be at work. she told me that i did not get the job. i have a lot of mixed feelings about this, and a lot of troubling thoughts going through my head too. regardless, i showed up for my volunteer shift today and did my responsibilities spot on. the reason she told me that she was not "able" to hir...

got a call from my son in Ireland this afternoon. oh, how he misses celebrating turkey-day here! i don't think he is lonely, but i think he misses the family and our traditions. so that was a really great thing to hear his voice, but more importantly he reminded me (and i'm kicking myself for not remembering this myself) that today, the 24th of November, he is 4 years clean and sober! of all things in my life i am most thankful for that. that he is alive, healthy, safe and sane. he has a girlfriend, a community of friends that love him and lives somewhere that makes him happy. he is terrifically successful in business too. profits at the cafe/bookstore he manages have risen 33% since he took over 3 months ago. also, i got a call from the library today. they left a message actually. i'm pretty sure that they are offering me the position that i interviewed for on Wednesday. it's going to be a good new year for me i think. tonight i am going out to listen to pun...

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